yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
