It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Randomize
