what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
