You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
