Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
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She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
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he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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