I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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