I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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