so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
