So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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