I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
