the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
