pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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