So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Sorry about my life...
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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