I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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