Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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