I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
