3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize