Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
