I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
