Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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