I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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