I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
don't judge my taste in strippers
Randomize
