SEEEEXXX PLEASE
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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