'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
