He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
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It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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