she was so not down for the gang bang
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
