he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
