twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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