there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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