How is your vagina???
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"