My first STD was from a foam party
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
