Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my penis look like a turkey
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
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