he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
