i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize