u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize