Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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