what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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