I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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