this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
