I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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