Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
