Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Princesses don't give blow jobs
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
