East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
