Your mouth is God's brothel.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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