She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Edward fifth and chaser hands
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize