She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
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Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
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