the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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