In the future we'll all be gay
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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