you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
