theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
