It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
