I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Randomize
