the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
