Dual....:-)
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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