dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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