It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You ruined the universe
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize