At least make sure they are 18
Why
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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