planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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