you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
