I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
