i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
